False Prophet Says His False Prophecies Prove His Prophecies Are True

Charismatic preachers are less accurate in their prophetic predictions than drunken meteorologists. In fact, coronavirus has proven that charismatics are far less accurate than that. Not a single charismatic leader prophesied the costliest health-related panic in history. Multitudes of charismatic leaders prophesied coronavirus would never come to America. Many more prophesied Christians would be immune. Hundreds upon hundreds prophesied it would be gone by Easter. They were all wrong…every last one.

We had to stop chronicling the false prophecies of major charismatic leaders only days into the crisis because there were just too many to keep up with. But, here’s a summary:

Bethel’s affiliated pastor, Shawn Bolz, declared a prophecy that God had ended the virus. Perhaps Bethel didn’t get the memo. Rodney Howard Browne promised to bind coronavirus from the United States (again, it’s growing), Jim Bakker claimed his venereal disease ointment also heals coronavirus, and Rick Wiles claimed Christians are immune altogether. Pat Robertson claimed his gut-health booklet will make you immune. A charismatic prophet from New Zealand claimed that all Christians were immune. Another prophet declared that Republican states were immune. Perry Stone says coronavirus is a Satanic scheme to help socialism. Kenneth Copeland said that touching his oily hand through the television would heal coronavirus. Lou Engle has told his followers that a three-day fast can cure coronavirus. And one charismatic prophet claimed that a potential vaccine would be the Mark of the Beast. And a charismatic prophet interprets his dream to mean that coronavirus is trying to sabotage President Trump. And this Bethel prophetess claims that she decreed and declared coronavirus away from the world for good. Also, this charismatic prophet says coronavirus would disappear if China would grant religious freedom to Christians (why America is getting now is anybody’s guess). Rodney Howard Browne then discouraged people from taking any forthcoming vaccines because he said it’s a globalist plot to kill people. Cindy Jacobs ‘decreed and declared’ coronavirus to be “illegal” and said she put a stop to it. Chuck Pierce claims to have prophesied coronavirus last year, but apparently didn’t bother to tell anyone (but it totes happened, you guys).

Entire prophecy and faith-healing conferences with leading prophets and healers shut down because they didn’t see coronavirus coming and were afraid they would get sick. In fact, to date, not a single faith-healer has cured someone of coronavirus.

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What’s a prophet to do in order to defend his abysmal track-record at successfully prophesying?

Jeremiah Johnson takes the cake. Our favorite god-hating pagans over at Friendly Atheist found this clip, and might we all be a bit humbled that these clown-hat charismatics help the heathen rage.

In the clip, Johnson tells the story of how he prophesied falsely, and what he said would come to pass did not. Then, he claims, it was verification that his prophecy was from the Lord after all because it failed so horribly that it proves there was supernatural opposition to it. We kid you not.

Watch below.

The Bible actually says something quite different. It turns out – and this may shock you – but a false prophecy actually means someone is a false prophet. True enough.

And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the Lord has not spoken?’— 22 when a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him (Deuteronomy 18:21-22).