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Charismatic Prophet Claims Coronavirus Won’t Hit Republicans

News Division

Charismatic prophets keep giving out great news regarding the coronavirus. Sure, they all claim to have received their news from God himself through direct and divine revelation while their accounts all vastly differ, but still.

Challenge not the Lord’s anointed, amiright?

Shawn Bolz prophesying an end of coronavirus (right before a half-dozen dropped dead in Washington state), Rodney Howard Browne promising to bind coronavirus from the United States (again, it’s growing), Jim Bakker claiming his venereal disease ointment also heals coronavirus, and Rick Wiles claiming Christians are immune altogether. Pat Robertson claims his gut-health booklet will make you immune. A charismatic prophet from New Zealand claimed that all Christians were immune.

To recap, prophets would like you to know that you’re immune:

  • No matter where you live
  • If you live in America
  • If you buy snake-oil
  • If you’re a Christian
  • If you have good gut-health

The truth is in there somewhere, right? Surely…I mean, it’s a word from the Lord, yes?

Well, Jonathan Shuttlesworth wants you to know that because Trump is pro-Israel (that’s a good thing, really) then Americans have coronavirus limited immunity…if you live in a red-state.

If you live in a blue-state, you might be toast.

Do charismatics ever stop to consider why God is telling prophets different stuff?

In the meantime, coronavirus is poised to spread throughout the entire general population of the United States. There are now 400 reported cases nation-wide and it’s spreading, including to red-states like Texas.