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Giant Faith-Healer Gathering Canceled Due to Coronavirus

News Division

Well, this sounds like satire, but it’s not. The world’s largest gathering of notable faith healers are canceling the grand opening of a faith-healing center because of coronavirus.

We reported on the grand opening of the Morris Cerullo Legacy International Center on Saturday, mostly because it has a design that looks like a dollar sign in the landscaping. Speakers include prominent faith-healers Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, and positive thinker, Joel Osteen.

Hinn claims to have even raised the dead. Heck, he’s claimed to have healed entire hospitals (those hospitals deny it, by the way). Kenneth Copeland claims to control the weather and rebukes tornados.

But apparently the charismatic power to heal stops dead at respiratory viruses. Charisma reports – without a sense of irony – that the meeting is postponed, saying, “Legacy will postpone its worldwide event, scheduled for March 31-April 5, featuring renowned speakers Joel Osteen, Kenneth Copeland, Tommy Barnett, Sid Roth, Christian Harfouche, Marcus Lamb and Robert Stearns, plus many others.”

So far we have, Bethel’s affiliated pastor, Shawn Bolz, declared a prophecy that God had ended the virus. Perhaps Bethel didn’t get the memo. Rodney Howard Browne promised to bind coronavirus from the United States (again, it’s growing), Jim Bakker claimed his venereal disease ointment also heals coronavirus, and Rick Wiles claimed Christians are immune altogether. Pat Robertson claimed his gut-health booklet will make you immune. A charismatic prophet from New Zealand claimed that all Christians were immune. Another prophet declared that Republican states were immune. Perry Stone says coronavirus is a Satanic scheme to help socialism. Kenneth Copeland said that touching his oily hand through the television would heal coronavirus. Lou Engle has told his followers that a three-day fast can cure coronavirus (health experts say that lowers the immune system). And one charismatic prophet claimed that a potential vaccine would be the Mark of the Beast. And a charismatic prophet interprets his dream to mean that coronavirus is trying to sabotage President Trump. And this Bethel prophetess claims that she decreed and declared coronavirus away from the world for good. Also, this charismatic prophet says coronavirus would disappear if China would grant religious freedom to Christians (why America is getting now is anybody’s guess). Rodney Howard Browne then discouraged people from taking any forthcoming vaccines because he said it’s a globalist plot to kill people. Cindy Jacobs ‘decreed and declared’ coronavirus to be “illegal” and said she put a stop to it. Chuck Pierce claims to have prophesied coronavirus last year, but apparently didn’t bother to tell anyone (but it totes happened, you guys).

None of these things are true. May the Lord rebuke them.