The Pen

An Open Letter to Evangelicals from George Soros: Thank You!

Editor’s Note: Pulpit & Pen has received an open letter from the social communist, George Soros, and he has asked us to publish this letter here for him. We agreed to do so.

Dear leaders of the evangelical church in America,

I would like to express my deep gratitude to all of the evangelicals that have supported me over the last few years, and helped me advance my agenda. As you all know, the American people and the American Evangelical church have been instrumental in the decline of your nation, as well as the destruction of your constitutional rights. It is through your influence in the church that we have been able to blind many of your followers to the truth. I would like to individually thank the following evangelical leaders, as well as the evangelical church as a whole:

I would like to personally thank Dr. Russell Moore, the head of the Southern Baptist Ethics and Religious Liberties Commission. Russell Moore has been extremely serviceable to my cause. He has relentlessly pushed and supported my Black Lives Matter movement, a racist movement that seeks to denigrate white police officers, and incite violence against them. He has continued to help me build an even larger racial divide in your nation by perpetuating the false claim that there is a systemic problem with racism within your police forces, and has led the cause to make racism more about the Confederate flag than individual sin.

Thank you for helping hide the fact that white people are shot and killed by police at exactly the same percentage rate as blacks. This has led to further polarization of both sides of the issue, which has helped further advance my pet political causes, such as gun control, and the removal of constitutional freedoms.

Russell Moore has also been instrumental in advancing my open-borders agenda. He has relentlessly fought against the concept of regulated immigration and has spent an inordinate amount of time and resources denigrating anyone and everyone who believes that your nation’s borders should be secured. This has led to an influx of radical Islamists in the nation, which I have been able to use for the advancement of my cause. I can’t thank him enough for this. Thank you!

I would like to personally thank Thabiti Anyabwile. Thabiti has been instrumental in maintaining the racial divide within your nation. He has helped to advance the cause of socialism by openly supporting Hillary Clinton for U.S. president. He has helped perpetuate the idea of African American victimhood, by openly stating that the social justice and welfare advocate, Bernie Sanders, has the best interest of blacks over any other candidate, Republican or Democrat. Since anyone with any semblance of rational thinking knows that socialist and Democrat policies only serve to enslave people to government, and further bring a nation to destruction, Thabiti’s support for my agenda has been incredibly useful, and I can’t thank him enough for this. Thank you!

I would like to personally thank Ronnie Floyd. Ronnie Floyd has perhaps been the number one evangelical leader in your country to help bolster an environment of fear among people under the guise of “racial reconciliation.” He has done this by single-handedly changing the commission of the Southern Baptist Convention from spreading that ridiculous notion you people call the “Gospel,” to making it all about racism. He even proclaimed that God told him personally that racism is the biggest “sin” in America. Since rational Southern Baptists know that racism is an individual problem rather than a systemic problem, Floyd’s perpetuation of racial tensions, by leading people to think that all white people, especially in the church, are guilty of racism, and owe all black people for their “hatred and crimes,” has helped further the divide, and cause more mistrust and agitation on both sides of the aisle. Again, I thank you for your cooperation.

I would also like to personally thank many other evangelical leaders that have continued to support my agenda. Evangelical leaders like Albert Mohler, John Piper, Matt Chandler and J.D. Greear have openly supported my cause without giving it a second thought. Rappers who happen to be Christian, like Lecrae, have also continued to create racial tensions among evangelicals. Without you great leaders, I would be unable to continue to bring America to its knees. Your constituents have historically been a market I have not been able to tap through other means. It is only through your positions of influence that I have been able to largely brainwash evangelicals into buying into my socialist agenda.

There are still quite a number of evangelicals that aren’t fully on board yet, and if I failed to mention any leaders by name, believe me, you are much appreciated too. Your continued support is needed. I ask that you continue to openly bash and denigrate evangelical leaders who are not on board, or who continue to try to speak out against us. Any ridiculous notion coming from evangelical leaders that racism is an individual sin problem, or that the mission of the Church is solely to spread that garbage that Jesus spoke, needs to be silenced. You have been wonderful at doing this work, and I kindly ask that we not give up–our job is almost done. America is almost no more.

In Mammon We Trust,

— George Soros

In case anyone didn’t catch on, this is a sarcastic satire piece. ]