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Confessions of a Calvinist Fundamentalist

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ (Colossian 2:8) The exhortation from Paul is clear; do not let anyone enslave and carry you away by philosophy, empty but deceitful words, or … Read more

Is this the Worst Pastor Job Listing EVER?

If this isn’t the worst pastor job listing ever, it’s close. Although this has been written about at both the Social Gospel Coalition and Relevant Magazine, it’s time to dissect this at Pulpit & Pen. The badness of this job listing is palpable. It’s so bad that even the two aforementioned organizations lifted it to … Read more

Cover Letter: A Candidate to Replace Thom Rainer at LifeWay

To the Board of Trustees at LifeWay Christian Resources, I am writing this open cover letter to express my interest in succeeding Thom Rainer as President of LifeWay.  As you know, LifeWay and its sister organization, Guidestone, are unique among Southen Baptist entitities in that they are self-supporting concerns which operate as profit-generating businesses.  At … Read more

Matt Chandler Preaches Charismatic Poppycock

Something eventually happens to everyone who calls themselves a Charismatic Calvinist;” they eventually become all of one thing and none of the other. Like with Mark Driscoll, the charismatic side of the Charismatic Calvinist grows and grows more wildly out of control as claims of dubious supernatural manifestations grow so pervasive that it strangles out … Read more

Dear Andy Stanley: You are Marked

Dear Andy, I have a lost friend who grew up in a Baptist church but later left the faith.  He is in the demographic you are trying to reach.  I know this because I have read your ridiculous book Deep and Wide.  I am all too familiar with your wrong-headed and unbiblical mission to create … Read more

Polemics Terms: Anti-Polemics Cognitive Dissonance Syndrome

Anti-Polemics Cognitive Dissonance Syndrome (ACDS) is an unfortunate hypocrisy among those who detest polemics and/or discernment for being “angry,” or for being “hateful,” who in their rebuffing of polemics and/or discernment are actually more angry and hateful than the polemicists they criticize. Cognitive Dissonance is the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially … Read more

Billy Graham’s Funeral Attracts Gaggle of Heretics

Like moths to a flame, a gaggle of the world’s most notorious false teachers have flocked to eulogize and celebrate the death and life of Billy Graham. Attendees at the private, invitation-only event included Elevation Church pastor Steven Furtick, survival-slop peddling doomsday felon, Jim Bakker, and wild-eyed prophetess, Beth Moore. Held at the Billy Graham … Read more

Scare Quote Explosion: “Pastor” Perry Noble’s “Church” Launch “Sermon” a Total Mess

Perry Noble talked into his phone for approximately 30 minutes for his “church launch.” Perry Noble was known for primarily three things, prior to self-destructing in his personal life due to alcoholism and bad marital decisions (and now divorce). He was known for (1) being the pastor of a mega-church, NewSpring, (2) playing Highway to … Read more

Why So Many Girly-Men? Blame the Birth Control Pill.

Where did all the effeminate sissy men come from? Part of the answer is “The Birth Control Pill.” First, a warning. AN OBLIGATORY WARNING ABOUT THE ABORTIFACIENT NATURE OF “THE PILL” The pharmaceutical drug called the “Birth Control Pill” shouldn’t be taken by Christian women, or any women who don’t want to inadvertently kill their … Read more

Is it Time to Bring Back the Black Robes?

The vestment, robe, or cassock used to be all the rage in Protestant evangelicalism. Although associated with Catholicism in the minds of American Christians, the historical reality is that the garment was called the “Geneva Gown.” It developed among the Reformers of Western Europe who rejected the dress of the Papist clergy, but whose preachers … Read more

Perry Noble Files for Divorce

Perry Noble now runs a business designed to give business advice to churches, on the grounds that – according to him – “churches are businesses.” Noble announced his return to ministry before getting out of rehab for his alcohol issues, and shortly after he was relieved of his position at New Spring Church for addiction … Read more

Driscoll is Back (Again), and Some Patheos Bloggers Aren’t Happy

Mark Driscoll has been a train wreck. Now he’s in the news again. Here’s how we’ve covered the Driscoll saga (in reverse chronological order). Driscoll defends Roman Catholic doctrine, says Roman Catholics are Christians (link). Perry noble tries to restore Driscoll (before falling himself due to alcoholism) to ministry (link). Driscoll plants ‘Trinity Church’ in … Read more