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Wizard Wars! A New Challenger Appears! Which Prophet will Leave Victorious!?

We told you last week how Bethel Church casts out the demon of racism with their wizard staff and mystical incantations. Well, it appears a new challenger has appeared to battle Bethel for ultimate staff supremacy. Equipped with dual offerings, symbolic of the rods of Moses and Aaron, will this newcomer emerge victorious in this prophets duel? There can only be one!

The newcomer’s name that has entered the ring is Prophet Charlie Shamp, and the picture was taken at the “Fire Oil Glory Prophecy 2020” tour. No seriously. That’s what it’s called.

The Prophet Shamp has quite a commendable spiritual resume. According to his website:

PROPHET CHARLIE HAS PREDICTED MAJOR WORLD EVENTS…with pinpoint accuracy. These include presidential elections, catastrophic natural disasters, revealing government corruptions and exposing terrorism plots. Charlie has been uniquely gifted by God to see and speak accurately into the spirit realm coupled with a ministry of miracles, signs and wonders releasing transformation into churches and cultures worldwide.

Clearly he’s a big deal, having also earned the endorsement of fellow prophet and queen of the “whoooah,” Patricia King.

As far as the matchup goes, we looked closely at the pictures of both staffs, perusing them with an eye well-studied in pentecostal props. After much deliberation and earnest prayer, we at Pulpit & Pen have decided to give the win to….Prophet Shamp!

Shamp gets the win over Bill Johnson and the Bethel gang for two reasons. Firstly, he has two staffs, meaning he has a double portion of power. Secondly, that unlike Bethel’s wizard spiritual stick, these staffs have snakes on them!

If you look closely, the serpentine creatures are coiled tightly up and down the length of the staff, evoking Numbers 21:9, whereas the Bethel bunch just evoked a Peter Jackson flick with too many false endings. The presence of these crawly creatures has put Prophet Shamp over the edge, and his victory will be celebrated far and wide.

If you find any other charismatic challengers who may be interested in battling for staff supremacy in these wizard wars, perhaps a prophet with a shepherd’s crook, please send us their information to [email protected].