Heterosexuals Marching for ‘Straight Pride’ Need Police Protection to Not Get Killed

A group of heterosexuals tried to march in Boston recently in what was intended to be a fun “spoof” of the LGBT movement and barely escaped with their lives intact. More than one thousand police officers had to be called to protect the heterosexuals from an angry mob of leftist protestors intent on hurting them.

Protestors trying to beat the heterosexual marchers held signs espousing love and tolerance.

In the United States each year, there are approximately 1,500 or more annual gay-pride parades. The events are largely without incident, as homosexuals prance merrily throughout the streets in a worshipful celebration of their own sexuality. However, several attempts of heterosexuals to have similar ‘straight pride’ events are proving to impossible without threats of violence and intimidation.

The group, Super Happy Fun America, seemed to be less concerned about “Heterosexual Pride” as they were about getting together and having a good, politically correct time. Many of the gatherers consider parading to show off one’s sexual orientation to be pure silliness, and so they wanted to demonstrate the absurdity by doing it.

Apparently the point was lost on leftist agitators, who gathered by the thousands with masks, sticks, bats, and weapons to challenge the people exercising their First Amendment liberties to peacefully assemble.

The president of the satirical groups, John Hugo, said, “Straight people are an oppressed majority. We will fight for the right of straights everywhere to express pride in themselves without fear of judgement and hate. The day will come when straights will finally be included as equals among all of the other orientations.” 

It appears that Hugo meant the statement as something between a joke and satire to make people think about the absurdity of pride marches.

Unfortunately for the peaceable marchers that day, leftists do not think.

A gauntlet of angry protestors gathered on each side of the parade to pelt the marchers with both insults and objects. One man’s sign read, “I don’t need a damn parade but my queer daughter does.”

Apparently, only homosexuals need a parade to show off their sexuality.

There were no public displays of affection, nudity, lascivious dancing, sexual stimulation or profanity on the part of the marchers, as opposed to that which is common in gay pride parades. And yet protestors were decidedly against the march on the grounds it was immoral.

Emerson College President Lee Pelton, sent a campuswide message to students calling the event “a perversion” and a “desecration of beauty, truth and generosity.”

That’s how he described being straight.

The group began marching to the song, ‘God Bless America,’ and carried signs reading, ‘Make normalcy normal again.’

Police had to keep the marchers from being bludgeoned to death by protestors who held signs that read, “Peace, love, and tolerance.”

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