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‘Joel Osteen Inspiration Cube’ Launches. Not the Babylon Bee!

News Division

In a move that should make the theologically sound wail in anguish and gnash their teeth in misery, the travesty known as the “Joel Osteen Inspiration Cube,” an electronic device that plays daily affirmation, inspirations, and brief sermon clips from the prince of positivity, all the low price of $39.99.

https://vimeo.com/446417527

As the narrator encourages prospective buyers to “refuse the negative thoughts that keep you from reaching your goals and take back control.” We receive a small sampling of some of these daily inspirations:

-You have struggled long enough. Unexpected blessings are coming your way

-Some dreams are waking up. Hope is waking up, abundance is waking up

-You can’t think of negative thoughts and live a positive life. If you get your mind going in the right direction, your life will go in the right direction

Lest anyone believe it to be a joke product – this fresh hell is surely the creation of a depraved of mind (what else could concoct such a discernment-deadening monstrosity); this product is 100% real. Here is the registered trademark filing information for it, with the product having launched a few short weeks ago. The ordering information can be found on the website.

As one might imagine, the testimonials are skin-crawling.

It is unclear that Joel Osteen is or not is directly affiliated with this product.

For some fun, brief examples of why Osteen is problematic, including a survey of this thousand of tweets, check out here, and here.