Pet Sematary! Cindy Jacobs Can Raise Animals From The Dead

In a stunning revelation of supernatural gifting that would make even Stephen King proud, prophetess and blessed miracle worker Cindy Jacobs revealed that she can raise pets and sundry critters from the dead.

She made the point during a live stream last night, embedded below, at around the 4:00 minute mark.

After being asked if she ever prayed for sick pets, she responded:

I have quite a history of praying for sick pets. I don’t know where to begin…I kinda started this when my kids were little, Because one time I was getting into my car, and the kids had a kitten, and the kitten jumped into the car and I (unintelligeable] closed it on it and broke the cats neck. So I prayed for this dead cat and he came back to life. As soon as I finished praying for him he jumped up and he ran all around.

Later in the videocast, she relates how she also cured C. Peter Wagner’s canary, and then casually read a comment from another reader whose grandmother raised a chihuahua from the dead, applauding the story and assuring:

See? This really works. God LOVES animals.

Dissapointingly, none of her adoring fans asked her if it really works on humans too, as God presumably also loves them, nor did they ask whatever happened to her declaring coronavirus to be illegal last month, when she ordered it to cease and desist. We were hoping that an arrest and arraignment were forthcoming, but seeing as how COVID-19 is still clearly on the lam, we won’t hold our breaths.

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