Idolaters Flock to Worship a Crying ‘Virgin Mary’ in Chicago

Eastern Orthodox believers are not Christians, but they do worship images representing Christ and his mother, Mary. Even more idol-focused than their Roman Catholic counterparts, the Eastern Orthodox are heavily fixated on images, paintings, and sculptures. And now, Eastern Orthodox idolaters are flocking to worship an image of the ‘Virgin Mary’ they believe to be weeping.

According to Eyewitness News in Chicago, the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church on Chicago’s Northwest Side saw what looked like tears coming from the Virgin Mary’s eyes.

As usually happens when Catholic and Orthodox churches perform the tacky parlor trick, a janitor first noticed what appeared to be a trail of tears from the image.

The janitor’s discovering of the “crying” painting came on the heel’s of the church’s foreclosure and impending bankruptcy. Upon discovery of the tears, the idolaters in the ‘church’ flocked to the scene and acted hysterically.

The church’s ‘priest,’ Nick Jonas, said, “There’s something she’s trying to tell us, so we’re just going to seal our lips and listen to what she has to say.”

The tears are described as an “oil-like substance.” The tears are not flowing, there are only traces of what appeared to be baby or mineral oil squirted across her face.

Nearly 300 people have come to see the crying idol on Sunday (much more than their regular attendance), according to the secretary of the church, and even more people came on Monday, with some coming across the country to worship at the feet of the idol.

The president of the parish council said that some idolaters were now willing to get mortgages on their home to preserve the church and, along with it, the idol of Mary.

“Some people have come up to me and said,” he contended, “we’ll mortgage our homes.”

The bankruptcy hearing will be today at 11 a.m.

You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.  You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me,  but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments (Exodus 20).

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