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Promiscuous Prophetess Opens Trump’s Re-Election Bid with Insane Rant

News Division

Donald Trump and his Promiscuous Prophetess, Paula White

Paula White, who has now moved onto her third rockstar husband, was once the homewrecking mistress of faith-healer, Benny Hinn. American charismaticism is a moral cesspool, however, and she continued to be popular on the pop-prophecy circuit. Several weeks ago, Paula White claimed that God audibly told her to take the title of Apostle. Aside from being a crazy-eyed prophetess and notable adulterer, White is also the spiritual advisor of Donald Trump and she opened his presidential bid in craziest fashion.

Hinn’s wife divorced him after the his affair with White became public.

White took to the stage at the Amway Center in Orlando on Tuesday to provide the opening prayer for Donald Trump’s reelection rally. After asking the crowd to join hands, she prayed for a few moments before interrupting her own prayer to talk to the crowd.

She told the crowd:

“Right now, let every demonic network who has aligned itself against the purpose, against the calling of President Trump, let it be broken, let it be torn down in the name of Jesus!”

Then, as is common in Word-Faith and “little god theology,” White began to decree and declare things.

“I declare,” White shouted, “that President Trump will overcome every strategy from hell and every strategy from the enemy, every strategy, and he will fulfill his calling and destiny.”

It’s unclear what “demonic networks” are. Some have opined that she was speaking of CNN and MSNBC, but others claim that she was referring to an unseen platoon of demons in the Second Heaven. White used the language of “demonic networks” before, back in May while visiting the White House.

White also took the Messianic prophecy (about Jesus), Isaiah 54, and applied it to Trump.

“I declare that no weapon formed against him, his family, his calling, his purpose, this counsel will be able to be formed.”