Joyce Meyer Undead, David Barton Buys A Ph.D & Conan O’Brien Is Ordained

The concluding line from the Charisma News article that reported on the erroneous announcement of  wolf Joyce Meyer’s death is itself a perfect example of rhetorical touche.

“And please remember, not everything you see on the Internet is true!”

(Insert melodic drumroll of ignominy here while pondering exactly how much on Charisma News can actually be deemed as trustworthy! Another source on Meyer’s rebuttal about her rumored death is HERE.  Frankly, given that this sheepishly-clothed charlatan so grossly distorts the Truth of God, I cannot confirm that her denial about her death is not, in fact, itself deceptive.)

Despite the Internet announcements that reported her demise last Thursday, Joyce Meyer isn’t dead. On the one hand, then, there remains time for this charlatan to repent of her theological wickedness and seek salvation by God’s grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. On the other hand, countless souls will continue to be the gullible targets of her damning false gospel. But if Meyer’s hope – and that of her followers – is in the word-faith, prosperity gospel heresy she hurls, together they remain, as Jesus said in John 3:18, “condemned already.”

But … speaking of prosperity … heresy pays, doncha know?

According to the Joyce Meyer Ministries 2015 Annual Report, this particular heretic seems unlikely to die for lack of affordable medical attention. Her Gospel-malevolent ministry is fat and happy.

According to the report, the “total unrestricted revenue and other support” for the period ending December 31, 2015, was just over $111,000,000.00. (Yeah, one hundred eleven MILLION). Total reported assets exceeded $52 million, including over $16 million in “cash and cash equivalents.”

Source:http://annualreport.joycemeyer.org/downloads/Joyce_Meyer_Annual_Report_2015.pdf
Source:http://annualreport.joycemeyer.org/downloads/Joyce_Meyer_Annual_Report_2015.pdf

Since it is bearing down on us, Joyce’s deceived followers can rest at ease knowing that she’ll be able to procure all the NyQuil she might need if the evil spirit of the cold and flu season should threaten to thwart her husky-voiced heresy.

Having quelled the rumors of her demise, Meyers may be more immediately concerned with the misdemeanor charges the state of Missouri may be bringing her way. According to a story on the Friendly Atheist blog from Patheos, Meyer is falsely promoting herself as the recipient of an “earned Ph.D” in violation of Missouri law.  While she does have two honorary doctorates – one in divinity from Oral Roberts University and one in “sacred theology” from Grand Canyon University – Meyer claims to have earned one from Life Christian University, a Tampa, Florida-based entity reputed to be the same diploma mill that fellow TBN’er and pseudo-historian David Barton obtained his doctorate.

Just for educational context, LCU is also the uncredentialed grantor of Ph.D’s to numerous other well-known contemporary charlatans, including  Dr.Kenneth Copeland, Dr. Gloria Copeland, Dr. Benny Hinn, and Dr. Rodney Howard-Browne.  Others are listed on their “Distinguished Degree Holders” page.

“Be assured that no one will make a doctor of the Holy Scripture save only the Holy Ghost from heaven.”  Martin Luther

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(Breaking news update: During the writing of this article, Life Christian University has confirmed that David Barton did receive his “earned” Ph.D. from their, umm, unaccredited facility which, by the way, affirmed Barton as a Doctor of Christian History when, in fact, they do not offer any history curriculum.  Source  Barton’s specious Ph.D claims are also pondered HERE.)

From a quick review of LCU’s website, it appears that for about $2,500 you too can get your doctorate. Of course, you’ll prolly wanna be an officially ordained minister first, so you might want to log in to the Universal Life Church online ordination service where you can be ordained for free. Or, for $49.99, you can order the complete “Ministers Credentials Package.” There you’ll find other “ordained ministers” like Conan O’Brien, Lady Gaga, Richard Branson, Dwayne Johnson, and Paul McCartney.

So … Joyce Meyer isn’t dead.  That was a deception.  Not unlike David Barton’s scholastic deception.  The only thing not deceptive is that Conan really did get a worthless, online – albeit jocular – “ordination.”  But Conan’s “joke” about needing ordination in order to “marry Scott and David” may be worthy of laughs on late night television – while reflecting America’s continued slide into depravity – (Disclaimer: I’ve NEVER watched his show.) but the fraud of Meyer and Barton are deceptive on a scale that reaches far beyond a few late night guffaws.  Following their deception can be eternally imperriling.  (The fraud of the instant ordination site is, hopefully, self-evident.)

Indeed, it is no laughing matter.  The charlatanry parade continues, friends, with boundless vigor … but the providential blessing for the genuine believer is that this promenade of impiety is only to be found on that undesirable wide path. (Matthew 7:13-14) Those on the narrow one will recognize the fruits of the faithless … a task only accomplished by doing as Christ advised, “abide in my word.” (John 8:31)

“I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.”  Romans 16:17-18

 

[Contributed by Bud Ahlheim]



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