The Pen

Asking “How Far Is Too Far” is Never Far Enough

As our culture and our society continues it’s rapid descent into unbridled hedonism, everyone is invariably caught up in it’s wake. This is seen no more clearly than in a recent Christian Post article where we read

“A majority of single Christians are rejecting biblical doctrine by choosing to have sex before they are married. Sixty-one percent of self-identified Christian singles who answered a recent Christian Mingle survey said they are willing to have casual sex without being in love, while only 11 percent said they are waiting to have sex until they are married.” We read further “In a survey of 716 Christians released in January, only 11 percent said they save sex exclusively for marriage. Instead, 60 percent said they would be willing to have sex without any strings attached, while 23 percent said they would have to be “in love.” Five percent said they would wait to get engaged.”

Hopefully by now we would have the discernment to know that in all likelihood the majority of people polled are Christians in the same way they are American- because they were born that way and not because they have been born-again. We have no reason to assume that they are all regenerate, and if you took that number and narrowed it down by asking a few salient questions “How often do you attend Church, Do you love Jesus’ commands and do you do them, Do you love reading God’s word and do you submit to it, How have you demonstrated the fruits of repentance, How do you know you were born again, Do you love the brethren, Do you know what the Gospel is?” we would quickly weed out the “Cultural Christians” and be left with a small handful of respondents who have actually been given repentance and faith.

Still though, with our Church kids who will turn into mingling singles, its important that we address these issues head on, first by preaching the gospel and ensuring they’re saved, but also by teaching them God’s plans and purposes for sex for humankind.

Which brings us to the question of “how far is too far?” This seems to be the question that many teens are asking as they fumble and flit around the edges of sexual purity, wondering what sorts of things are acceptable and what sort of things aren’t. There are different answers, of course. Some people in return ask the rhetorical question “Instead of asking how far you can get to the edge of the cliff, why not just stay as far away from it as possible?”  Or they might say “You shouldn’t do anything that you would be ashamed of doing if Jesus was in the room” or “If you have to ask if you’ve gone too far, you probably have.” Good advice all. For most Christians, the answer to the question of “how far is too far” is..well….not very far at all.

My take? If you’re asking the question, you can’t go far enough. Chances are you’re some kids engaging in a lustful, disjointed and disconnected make-out session with your boyfriend or girlfriend, fumbling around with physical theology and sacred sexuality.  When all is said and done you’re left feeling guilty and ashamed and you think you’ve gone too far?  Listen – you’ve taken one shuffle-step in a journey of a thousand miles, the end result of which is that warm,  familiar, satisfying, one flesh sexual union between a man and a wife in a marriage covenant. And you think you might have gone too far? You’re not even in the running, because you don’t know what “far” truly means.

“Far” is an old married couple who after a lifetime of sex are dealing with the scourges of physical impotency. “Far” is a husband and wife consoling each other after another negative pregnancy test, bearing each other’s burdens in tears. “Far” is a young married couple who are delighting in each others bodies. “Far” is the encapsulation, iteration, and culmination of a biblical view of sexuality, incorporating the body, soul and spirit. The heart of “far”  is theological- ultimately being covenental Christ-exalting worship and a picture of union between Christ and his Church. Marriage and sexuality were designed by God for mankind so that through it mankind might glorify God.

And so here you stand, two kids  toying with a spiritual mystery, and you think you’ve gone too far?






And not only have you not gone too far, but at this rate- using these means, you will never get there.

[Contributed by Dustin Germain]