You Just Cannot Make This Stuff Up – When Satire and Stupidity Take Over The Pulpit

So I was sent a Babylon Bee article a few days ago that played the parody of a church coming up with a Bible study based upon the Netflix show “Stranger Things.”

It was a very funny read until someone sent me the link to a Relevant Magazine article, The Gospel According to Stranger Things. When I began reading it took five seconds to go from shock to absolute anger. They were not attempting to be funny, they were dead serious–and blasphemous.

It was written by Wesley Walker, who, according to his bio, is a “classical educator with Classical Conversations, a seminarian and a postulant for Holy Orders in the Anglican Church in North America.”

 

Here is what I read:

Stranger Things reminds us that God’s story of salvation is the original template for all of human stories. It’s full of metaphors, symbols and even veiled references to the most compelling story in the universe, the Gospel.

Ok, so? If I tried hard I could find all these things in a Diehard movie by Bruce Willis. But here is where Relevant Magazine makes a parody into One Big Sick Joke! The article takes a theological drop into Blasphemy with this paragraph:

The show’s protagonist is a girl named Eleven. She is pretty clearly a Christ figure (Her nickname, El, even means “God” in Hebrew). She has a mysterious birth story and her true father is never mentioned, even though her mother does make an appearance. She possesses seemingly miraculous telekinetic powers. While in captivity, government officials “tempt” her to use her powers to kill a cat, which she refuses to do, paralleling Satan’s temptation of Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11).

So what’s wrong with this? Well here are a few bullet points to help Identify the glaring problems.

  1. SHE- Has no resemblance to Christ as a Christ figure.
  2. SHE- Is not God incarnate, nor is she in any since a Savior.
  3. SHE- Is not Holy innocent and undefiled.
  4. SHE- Is not the Redeemer, Messiah or the Son of God.
  5. SHE- Is Not El Shaddai, God Almighty, just because her nickname is El.
  6. Her telekinetic powers are nothing like the power of God Almighty, that is blasphemy.
  7. Her temptation to kill a cat does not even come close. In fact, it is nothing at all like the temptation Jesus Christ faced when he willingly went out into the wilderness and was tempted by and defeated Satan, thereby establishing Himself to be the only man who could fulfill the promise of God in Genesis to finally crush the head of the serpent.

Oh, but that is not the only comparison that Wesley Walker found. Continuing from the article,

When El escapes from government captivity, she spends time with a group of lovable losers—kind of like the twelve disciples, a group composed of those who hated (Matthew the tax collector) or of a low station (i.e., fishermen). El even puts on Mike’s sister’s clothes, which alludes, I think, to the Incarnation (John 1:14a)

Oh wow! Can’t you just see the comparison to the Lord and Savior and those lovable, silly old disciples whom Jesus Called the Apostles? Oh, that is so cute when fools who have been given a voice on behalf of all Christianity are allowed to belittle the value and meaning of Christ and His Disciples.

Wesley actually has the nerve to compare a girl putting on clothes to the Incarnation of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, which is the name above every name in heaven and here on earth and even below the earth. Seriously!

Oh and that is not even close to all that Wesley Walker has to say, and we just cannot ignore this.

Walker continues the Blasphemy with this nugget:

El fails to meet the expectations of her friends because she does not rescue their friend Will from the Upside Down the way they expected. As a result, the group rejects her. You almost can’t help but notice the similarities to the way Jesus was rejected by the Jewish religious leaders because He did not meet their messianic expectations. El spends time in the wilderness where she is sustained by Eggo waffles, a pretty clear allusion to the manna sent to Israel from God while they were in the wilderness and prefigured the idea of Communion.

Um, First Jesus didn’t fail anything–He accomplished all that He set out to do. And He proceeded to redeem a people for God’s own Great name and glory.

The whole world rejected Jesus according to Isaiah 53:3-11,

3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. 10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

The Scriptures are painstakingly clear about the motive and agenda of the death of Christ and it never paints it as a lighthearted drama or game. But rather in the death of Christ, we see the greatest tragedy unthinkable. Because the only innocent man ever to live, volunteered to suffer and die thus satisfying the very wrath of God on behalf of every person God the Father has given to God the Son. Further, we find that there is no other hope for all man because we have all rebelled against God and have all earned His wrath. The Grace of Jesus Christ to grant us repentance and faith is beyond anything that has ever been done.

As Scripture say’s in Romans 5:8

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

There is so much more in that article but suffice it to say that Wesley Walker is in serious need of Biblical exhortation and training in righteousness.

You just cannot make this stuff up. I never thought that I would actually read something that dealt with Christ in a way that might actually make people more stupid if they read it. The Babylon Bee surely thought that they were just being satirical, and I doubt they thought that they were prophesying about events that would come up in just a few short days.

I really wish I were done, but I am sad to say that there is one more issue that needs to be addressed. I was also sent a quote from a well-known up and coming Word Faith power feminist Lisa Bevere.

Lisa has made a name for herself on TBN and on the conference speaking circuit, mainly for carrying around a big sword and calling women to take their role as pastors and leaders because of the supposed “millennia of oppression” of women by “domineering pigs” that act like they have the right to oppress lionesses.

Here is a quote posted on her Facebook Page:

Lisa Bevere Far too MANY of GOD’s DAUGHTERS who are called and gifted for ministry have been HELD BACK and denied their call by the church. For millennia, the VOICES of women have been SUPPRESSED, and the advancement of THE GOSPEL HAS BEEN CONTAINED. The enemy robs both men and women when we fall into division and attempt to add strength to one gender by subtracting it from the other. Though men and women were created to be SEPARATE in expression, we should NEVER be DIVIDED in PURPOSE. Jesus gave the Great Commission to all believers, men and women alike, and WE ALL have an IRREPLACEABLE ROLE to play in bringing His kingdom to earth. It is time we stop living within the limits others have placed on us and embrace our heaven-breathed identity as daughters #WithoutRival. (Grab a copy of my new book at WithoutRival.com or on Amazon) #Commission #CoLaborers #Gender #WithoutRival.

Lisa believes that God has called her to expose the millennia-old oppression of women who were called by God originally to be elders and teachers and Pastors in the body of Christ. She teaches that God indeed has “called” and “gifted” “God’s daughters” for ministry and they have been shamefully oppressed, held back and denied by a sinister enemy of all women everywhere.

What is this wicked enemy? Is it the demon hoards that have come straight out of Hell Perhaps it is Satan himself seeking the “God-called” ministry of women everywhere.

No brothers and sisters, this wickedness comes in a form that every woman must unsheathe their sword against. That “sinister enemy” is none other than the Church, The Bride of Christ!

Yes, you heard it, The Bride of Christ! The Bride that Jesus Christ came to live and die for and establish. The Bride that Jesus cared for so much that He gave her the Apostles doctrines to guide and secure her. This Bride which Jesus Loves and will one day bring to Himself, and feast at “the Marriage supper of the Lamb.”

According to Lisa Bevere, her declared enemy, scratch that, all women’s declared enemy is the Church because the true Church has refused to ordain and accept women into the preaching and teaching ministry of the body of Christ. After all, Lisa has looked and cannot find one single reason for this great demonic oppression. So it must be hate and that wicked notion of complementarianism. After all, surely God has always wanted women to be teaching and preaching, and we all know that God must be an egalitarian God–because Lisa said so, and she should know, because well she preaches and teaches and she couldn’t be wrong.

She has the backing of Hillsong Church, so that settles all issue’s and what makes matters worse is that for all these Millennia “The Gospel Has Been Contained” because of this wicked oppressive. As a matter of fact, Lisa reminds us all “The enemy robs both men and women when we fall into division and attempt to add strength to one gender by subtracting it from the other.”

When you start asking what God meant by those so-called sexist statements that are found in the Scripture beginning in Genesis about that whole “help meet” thing, feminists understand this to be about oppression. And true women of God should really embrace their “inner lioness.” (

(Did we tell you that you can learn to embrace your inner lioness when you buy Lisa’s book “WithoutRival” available wherever Blasphemy and heresy is sold, and definitely at Lifeway as well?)

Pastrix Lisa makes it clear, ladies, that you have a “role” and a “sword” and a “destiny” and you need to throw off those “shackles” of that old oppressive Bible, and buy her books. She is certain ladies that “It is time we stop living within the limits others have placed on us and embrace our heaven-breathed identity as daughters.” Because you know God loves to contradict Himself and confuse His followers by saying one thing for 6000 years then changing His mind and telling Lisa Bevere, Joyce Meyers, Jan Crouch, Paula White, and a whole host of other getting-rich-off-the-fattened-calf heretical pastrixes!

Like I said, you just cannot make this stuff up! I couldn’t imagine that one church in a thousand would want this howling heretic at their doorstep. She is a wolf, and if you don’t want to see that, it is because you have been blinded by yet another celebrity.

Let me pose this question: what has changed? When did God call the official meeting and declare that He has changed His mind about who His ministers are going to be?

With all her vitriol and theatrical display of “lioness power,” she is actually revealing that she is an enemy of God and His Word.

In case you didn’t catch on, what she is doing is fulfilling a promise of God, if you consider the curse of God on Adam and Eve. Genesis 3:16 (ESV) says

Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” 

Most conservative Bible scholars agree that the meaning of this passage is that because of the fall of Adam and Eve there will be a struggle for power and conflict in every relationship. Men will dominate and women will struggle to take the position and will demand their own authority. This is why feminism, a Marxist ideology, inside the church is destructive and will ultimately cause churches that embrace feminism to also embrace every other sin, and ultimately, destruction.

Lisa Bevere is lying to you, ladies and gentlemen. She is not your friend, nor is she a friend of the church. She is a howling wolf demanding her power to roar and take authority that is not hers. She has no right to the office she has usurped, and the evidence is in her blasphemy against God, Christ, and His bride. She wants to destroy the bride of Christ shameful gain–don’t forget to release your power and buy her book.

If God’s Word is inerrant, infallible, and inspired then I need only one passage to destroy Lisa Bevere’s so-called heaven-appointed ministry. 1 Timothy 2:12–14 (ESV) says,

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

There is another passage 1 Corinthians 14:34 which teaches the same thing. So what is being said here?

Paul the Apostle tells Timothy his protégé that women are not to teach or exercise authority over men. Some look at this as two separate commands. Women are not permitted to teach, nor exercise authority over men! However, most say this is a single command directed towards the pastoral office and women are not to be speaking from that office or exercising authority over men, in any Biblical teaching setting.

This really is about is teaching and preaching in a worship setting. Any worship setting. Small Groups, Discipleship classes, Small congregations, Large Conferences–to any group of professing Christians.

God warns us to be careful about the office of teacher James 3:1 (ESV) says,

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.

Teaching brings strict judgment for everything you teach and one of the many reasons is every word has a meaning and a necessary consequence. Lisa Bevere is teaching Socialist Marxist Feminism and claiming that God, The Bible and The Bride of Christ is oppressing women and women need to rise up and claim their power.

So what about the power to shape the minds of children? What about training up Godly children and young women. What about mentoring families in Holiness and purity? The statistics on marriage are abysmal and God has given us the solution through God’s design in the local church, where Godly women exercise their God-given abilities to mentor and disciple a whole community of women and children on how to Know God, how to be Godly and love your husbands, thereby reversing the curse in Genesis, and how to behave and act in this wicked and perverse world. Women have always had prominent roles in the local church that are vital to the life of the church. Historically it has been the women who have had the heart to love and support the local church and to care for those in need. Historically it has been the women who are always mentoring and seeking to bring new disciples in to the church. Read Titus 2:3-5; 1 Timothy 2:9; Acts1:12-14; Acts18:26. Women ministered alongside Paul according to Philippians 4:3 and they were faithful to support the ministry according to Romans 16:1-6 and 2 Timothy 1:5.

In the true Church, men and women are not at odds with each other, but rather they understand the complementary roles in which God has assigned them. Men and women are to foster love and respect and mutual support as we work together to Glorify God and Proclaim His Gospel and it’s outworkings in every way we can.

Beloved, Lisa Bevere is a lying wolf and deserves nothing but our tears and prayers that God will grant her repentance because she has been blinded by the God of this world (2 Cor 4:4). She obviously doesn’t know my King and Savior, Jesus, who loved and elevated women in their proper place:

When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! 27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! – John 19:26-27 

It is high time we stopped listening to liars and wolves who are attempting to make a shipwreck of the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.

Grace and Peace

[Contributed by Pastor Justin Pierce, Grace Life Church Tri~Cities]

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