Evangelical darling Jen Hatmaker, who came out in full support of LGBTQQIP2SAA rights in 2016 and then went radio silent about the topic since, released a podcast today with her daughter where they revealed that she is a lesbian and that Hatmaker and her husband couldn’t be more proud and thrilled.
In the podcast, Hatmaker interviews her daughter Sydney on what it’s like growing up gay in their evangelical household, and they both discuss that experience while saying a bunch of extremely unbiblical, anti-christal things. We’ve collected a few quotes here: Mostly from Jen.
“I wouldn’t change one ounce of who she is. Not a molecule. Not a moment. The only thing I would change in our story, is I wish I could go back and shake myself to life sooner- well, well, well, before. I wish I could have said “hey, I wonder if this is a theology that you could examine just for the sake of the entire community, what are your eyes and your ears telling you about the suffering that unnafirming theology causes”
And I think some pastors and churches also make the mistake of thinking that on any given Sunday they’re just speaking to people who are all straight and the {unintelligible} of that. When the truth is every single church is just filled with gay kids and gay moms and dads and you know-its just so irresponsible to break their hearts.
[Sydney] “Up to 10% of the population could be gay or trans. They’re in your church, they’re in your family and it doesn’t matter how loving you are, or what emphasis on scripture you come with, that’s not enough if you’re not fully accepting them as children of God,”
[Jen] I appreciate you saying that, because before we had done meaningful work around this theology, that would have been me, as you mentioned earlier; loving, but not there. And so now that I understand like so deeply into my bones, is that’s maybe even more cruel. That’s maybe the worst cruelty, as opposed to just outright homophobia. It is not enough, Christians, to say, ‘well, we love you anyway’. I don’t want to be loved anyway.”
“As it comes to gay kids and adults, your job, when it comes to church, is to go to a safe one. That’s your only job. Go where you are cherished, go where you are beloved, go where all your gifts are invited…That’s the only responsibility of the gay folk is be safe and be loved. And so, it’s the rest of us who are always centered in the narrative, it’s our job to tear down unjust structures inside the church.”
Being an ally For me, and I can say this with absolute integrity, the gain and the reward is so much higher than the cost. Like it almost just doesn’t even count. It almost doesn’t count into the debit column.
The affirming Christian community, where everybody is beloved and cherished equally, it is absolutely thriving. Like, the spiritual fruit there is in-freaking-credible and just the way everybody’s gifts are invited to come to bear, from top to bottom, in every level of authority and passion, and just to see a spiritual vibrancy inside each and every beating heart- well there is just no replacement for it. Like it’s either that for me or none. That’s my equation. I would never, ever stand for a lesser version of it, where it only works for me.
It will always be my greatest sadness that Dad and I did not do our own work earlier enough so that you felt safe and beloved in your own family…I’m so sorry, and I’m so sad, and If I could go back I would change it. I would shake myself to life before you were even born. shake some sense into me. Look at what this is causing. Just..look around. use your eyes. use your ears. use your brain and use your heart. and I wish I could have gone back and change that.
I’m so glad you’re gay. I’m so glad you’re free. I’m so glad this is how you were made. I’m thrilled about your future. I already told you about the kind of wife you need to marry.
Hatmaker recently released a a new book, “Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You.” Where she writes in the book that she has pretty much traded evangelical theology for “the wild terrain of the wilderness.”
Yup. No kidding.
