Trump Rejecting Daily Prayers Offered by Nancy Pelosi

Nancy Pelosi responded to a reporter in a press briefer about their intent to impeach the president, “I pray for the President all the time.” The entire nation rolled their eyes and sarcastically, slowly nodded in an “I bet you do” expression. Donald Trump chimed in on national sentiment, saying in a tweet yesterday, “I don’t believe her. Not even close.”

Of course, we don’t know for sure that Speaker Pelosi doesn’t pray for the president. We just aren’t sure to whom she prays. It can’t be the God known as Yahweh, who hates innocent bloodshed more than anything (Proverbs 6:16-19). It can’t be the God of Israel, who burned Sodom in a hellfire of sulfur (Genesis 19:24). It can’t be the God of Moses, who forbade the redistribution of wealth (Exodus 20:15). It surely can’t be the God who the Democratic Party officially voted to take “so help me God” out of their U.S. House committee oaths.

We don’t know what kind of fetal-blood-soaked, goat-headed, polyamorous anti-fertility goddess Pelosi sacrifices chickens to, but it’s not the God of the Bible and Trump is right to call ‘baloney’ on her claims to pray for him.

When asked at the press conference if she hated the president, Pelosi said…

“As a Catholic, I resent your using the word ‘hate’ in a sentence that addresses me. I don’t hate anyone. I pray for the President all the time.”

As a Catholic, of course, she should not be receiving communion and should be excommunicated for being pro-choice, which is technically what is supposed to happen in the Roman Catholic Church.

Trump said he didn’t believe her.

Trump is right to not believe her. If Pelosi prays to anyone, it’s probably to Satan or some other lesser contrived deity like Molech. Any Christian would be right to reject prayers from Nancy Pelosi as quickly as we would reject a curse from a voodoo priest.