Charismatic ‘Pastor’ Claims He Found Jesus Wandering Streets, Brought Him to Preach

So apparently, Jesus was wandering around the streets of Kenya when a charismatic pastor claims he found Jesus wandering around the streets. The pastor asked him to stop being a vagrant long enough to come by the church and preach.

According to reports, his church is really excited that Jesus is back.

In related news, apparently Jesus is a long-haired, Caucasian hippie. Black Hebrew Israelites are going to be really mad when they hear about this.

There was also a posted video of “Jesus” being driven through a town to a crowd of onlookers, excited at his return.

The “Jesus” turned out to be Michael Job, an “evangelist” who says he was trying to portray Jim Caveziel—the actor who played Jesus in Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ—and not Jesus himself. But being mistaken for Jesus gave him an idea…go around Kenya acting like the Son of God.

I’m sure no spiritual trauma will be caused by poor Kenyans thinking Jesus returned to Earth in order to wave at them through the moon roof of a sedan.

And, it turns out contrary to other press reports, the pastor did not “happen” to come across Christ in the streets. It was a planned event.

The people in the audience and streets seem to have thought it was actually a spontaneous return of Jesus.

And this is why the Second Commandment exists.