The Pen

Thank God for Toxic Masculinity This Memorial Day

‘I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you $@(& with me, I’ll kill you all.’

General Mad Dog Mattis
General Mattis

General James ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis met with then recently-defeated Iraqi military leaders in 2003, when he gave the quotation above. This is the same man who said, “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet” and, “It’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot some people.”

Somewhere a lesbian is lamenting toxic masculinity in her gluten-free cheerios, while she tries desperately to imitate it.

Thanks for our freedom, Toxic Masculinity

The origins for the term, toxic masculinity, can’t be traced to any particular academic thinker, philosopher, or sociologist because it is the product of ranting feminists on social media. It’s a made-up, arbitrary, meaningless catch-all term used to refer to men who are manly. First developing in the 1980s as a part of second-wave feminism, these hairy-pitted, butch-haired morphodites have argued that there is nothing that is “innately masculine.” All such masculine traits are foreign social constructs, they would argue. Furthermore, anything that we perceive as ‘masculine’ must be the product of (to quote gender studies professor, Terry Kupers), “hegemonic masculinity that serves to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia and wanton violence.”

Here at Pulpit & Pen, we would just like to take the opportunity to thank all of the toxically masculine men who are responsible for saving Europe from despotism in two World Wars, dispel communism in Third World hell-holes, hunt down and kill terrorists in the Middle East, and basically speaking, save Western Civilization’s sorry tail over and over again.

These men are toxically masculine.

We are thankful for the men with hair on their chest, guns on their hip, and the American flag on their shoulder whose job it is to kill people and break things because some people need to be killed and some things need to be broken.

You see, it takes a special kind of guy…a toxically masculine guy…to sign up to serve their country in uniform and do so with dignity, willing to kill whoever needs killed and willing to help whoever needs helped.

General Mattis, quoted above, was referring to a specific kind of guy who it was fun to shoot. Here’s his quotation:

‘You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them’

You see, toxically masculine men help women, children, and the innocent because that’s what masculinity, by nature, does.

These men haunt others so your kids can have sweet dreams.

While war is unpleasant, it is sometimes necessary and there is a season for it (Ecclesiastes 3:8). While other men are sipping lattes and wearing skinny jeans, other men are needed to put on fatigues and gird up their loins like a man (Job 38:3). While some men are content sitting down to use the bidet, there must be toxically masculine men in the world who proudly pisseth against the wall (2 Kings 9:8, 1 Samuel 25:22) standing up.

Those are the guys who use their toxic masculinity to liberate slaves, save women from female circumcision, and fight the Taliban to let little girls have the right to go to school.

So, thank God for the toxically masculine men in uniform. And while we’re at it, thank God for all the women who support those toxically masculine men so they can take scalps for the rest of us.