I made a comment last week about “ex-gay” Christian celebrities who still identify as (celibate) homosexuals and who, frankly, still act gay. You know what I’m talking about…they are light in the loafers, limp in the wrists, smooth in the elbows, plays for the other team, queer as a three dollar bill. I’m talking Jonathan Merritt level gay.
Apparently, and this was a surprise to me but perhaps should not have been, you can’t talk about someone “looking gay.” Somehow that’s breaching some weird standard of decency I never agreed to but as a part of civil society, I’m supposed to adhere to anyway. To point out that a gay guy looks gay or even acts gay is somehow…wrong.
“Why is this,” I wondered.
Well, I understand that we typically shouldn’t make fun of things that people can’t control. A cripple can’t help being crippled. Kyle J. Howard can’t help his “trans-cultural accent” (also known as a speech impediment”) without standard speech therapy. Beth Moore can’t help her bat-crazy eyes. I understand all those rules.
But what’s the deal with acting and looking gay? Is it inappropriate to point out the gay guy looks like he has ball-bearings in his wrist? Is it inappropriate to point out that the “litttthp” of the voice is a tad exaggerated? Are we to believe that someone can’t help their wardrobe choices? Was it God that gave limp wrists, a sashaying prance, and a penchant for skinny jeans? Really? I can’t make fun of (or even notice) the totally gay wardrobe choices of metrosexual young men because they “can’t help it”?
Baloney. They can help it.
Listen to me, people. It has been demonstrated by clinical and sociological studies that gay men (in particular) speak with a “gay cadence,” limp their wrists, and take on feminine mannerisms as a matter of volitional will. It “sends up a flag” that they are a homosexual and they are looking to hook up. This behavior can be started and stopped at a moment’s notice. I would encourage you to watch the documentary “Do I Sound Gay?” in which homosexuals admit this and it’s demonstrated thoroughly (warning: it is not a Christian documentary). This behavior (speech patterns, mannerisms, etc…) often stops immediately whenever the homosexual enters a monogamous homosexual relationship, is around unapproving family or friends, uncomfortable among strangers or trying to make a good impression. This means that “talking gay” is not like a speech impediment that one can’t help without extensive speech therapy. This behavior isn’t “just the way they are.” This is intentional behavior. These are intentional speech patterns. This is an intentional selection of dress and style, all to send the message to others that they are identified as a homosexual. In fact, the language scholar, Ruth Lakoff, argues that the male “gay voice” is a deliberate imitation (and often exaggeration) of the female voice. Academia in the field of speech pathology nearly universally recognizes this fact.
While there are some men who are “naturally effeminate,” more times than not they were raised without fathers or male role models in the home and are innocently mimicking their mother, aunts, and sisters. Likewise, there may be “tomboys” who mirror strong male examples in their mannerisms. But in neither case are these SUBTLE mannerisms the OVERT flaunting of perverse gender rejection of which I speak, common among the homosexual community.
What this means is that being overtly effeminate or butch is something they CAN help. It is a sin for men to be effeminate (1 Corinthians 6:9) and they are listed among those who – without repentance – will not see God. This word is μοιχοὶ and is listed **separately** from the sin of homosexuality. By deduction, it is also sinful for a woman to intentionally eschew femininity in the sake of imitating manhood.
Being effeminate when you are a man is a sin. Being masculine when you are a woman is a sin. “Looking gay” or “acting gay” is something every Christian young man or woman should be rebuked for.
So yes, take off those skinny jeans, young man. Enough with your stylish hair products. Quit talking that way. Give a firm handshake. Act masculine.
Sadly, because of the popularity of homosexuality and its association with coveted victimhood and often stylish urbanity, many heterosexual young men are “acting gay,” imitating the effeminate style of pop culture. It is okay – and perfectly acceptable – to tell young people to stop “acting gay” by their dress, mannerisms, and gender-bending style or speech.
Finally, let me add this about a good deal of Christian “ex-gay” celebrities (both men and women) who have found themselves on the Christian lecture circuit talking about being both “gay and Christian”…if they still “act gay,” we have every right to believe you’ve not been nearly sanctified enough to receive any attention or spotlight until you’ve been washed and sanctified of the sin that once stained you.
That I even have to say this is obnoxious, and that saying it will produce outrage is even more obnoxious; men should act like men and women should look like women. I’m sick and tired – and in fact, grossed out – by the amount of professing Christian young men with coiffed hair, eyebrows waxed, skinny jeans and who talks like an exaggerated form of a woman. There is nothing honorable, holy, or wholesome in any of that.
In the meantime, when I ask, “Why do these supposed ex-gay Christian celebrities still act really, really gay” I’m tired of being told that’s a sinful question. It is NOT. Being effeminate is a sin, in and of itself, even without the accompanied homosexual behavior.
If you’re a man, embrace masculinity. If you’re a woman, embrace feminity.
This has been a public service announcement.
[Contributed by JD Hall]