The Pen

Charismatic Pastrix Claims Trump's 'Touched' by God

Paula White, the undisputed bottle-blonde babe of Charismania, has pronounced Donald Trump as being touched by the hand of God.
White, who had a widely publicized affair with also-married and also-charismatic evangelist superstar, paula-bennyBenny Hinn, has been a supporter of Trump’s presidential bid for some time. In fact, White claims that Trump reached out to her 14 years ago after watching her on Christian television. According to Charisma News, Trump loves Christian television and the Gaithers.
To which all of God’s people said, “Okaaaay.”
White says of Trump’s anointing…

“There’s no way in the natural, if we were to use this terminology, that you could take a man against 17 other candidates that if we look back at the beginning of this, very qualified candidates, and then here he is, the nominee. For me, that has to be providence. That has to be the hand of God, in my opinion.”

White also claims that Billy Graham “prophesied” over Trump and “anointed him” a decade ago, and claims that Trump is a true Christian.
To which all of God’s people said, “Okaaaay.”
Are we really to believe that God’s hand is touching Donald Trump?
One can only imagine the Almighty saying, “Ewwww…gross” and wiping his anthropomorphic hands vigorously on the hem of his garment.