In today’s podcast I recalled, during the first few minutes of the program, my martial troubles. These troubles began as I rearranged some words to a love song I had written another woman in my earlier life and changed the names around, and gifted the love ballad to my wife. She wasn’t pleased. I don’t see what the big deal was.
If you listened to the rest of the program, you would have seen I was pulling your leg. I woke up this morning to a whole stack of emails from folks who didn’t keep listening, who were calling my re-purposed song stupid, idiotic, and insane. Some of you were very polite and well-meaning and yet, I could tell, you thought it was a bonehead move.
Again, that was a tactical move on my part. A few minutes later I explained that this is precisely what it’s like to re-purpose a secular or carnal love song for God. Thankfully, I’ve never made such a stupid move, my wife is the only “girlfriend” I’ve ever had, and neither the couch nor the doghouse has been my bed lately.
I wanted to share with you one email from someone who should have kept listening. I think he does an incredible, awesome job at explaining why God is not impressed with those who turn songs like “Girl Crush” into worship music…
JD,….You’re treading dangerous ground when dealing with an anniversary (our anniversary is today and I’ve already covered my bases J ), adapting a poem you wrote to a girl in your past that you admit to being madly in love with (does your wife listen to your program?)…on your anniversary, none-the-less!
- You’ve, in essence, told your wife you’re still thinking of this girl.
- By rearranging an old poem to someone else you’ve given your wife something “used” and meant for someone else.
- She’s probably hurt and thinks your relationship with her has grown old and stale and maybe thinking of moving on.I don’t say these things lightly or to harass you. Even though you’re a Man of God, a Pastor and such, women don’t look at your devotion to Scriptural marriage as the issue, it’s an emotional issue with them (this is 20 years of marriage talking).Here’s how to fix it:
- Confess it was a boneheaded thing to do. Really, she wants you to be just as vulnerable as she is. Tell her what your intention was and it had nothing to do with this other chick.
- If necessary, tell her that was then, this is now…She was the one you married, not her and there were good reasons for that…(and if necessary, explain those reasons).
- Give her time to process what you’ve told her….and never bring this other girl up again….ever.
- Lastly, don’t overdo the apology because she will think you’re just doing it because you were “caught”…however, do give her more attention (I mean, we men at times slip up and take our wives for granted, it’s just an ugly truth)The poem was an interesting idea and you had the best of intentions, I’m sure of it. JLesson learned: Don’t give the wife leftovers……especially if she was privy to it to begin with.[Name Withheld]Baltimore, Ohio
 You shall tear down their altars and dash in pieces their pillars and burn their Asherim with fire. You shall chop down the carved images of their gods and destroy their name out of that place.  You shall not worship the LORD your God in that way. (Deuteronomy 12:3-4 ESV)