A summary of social media discourse over the last week, as it pertains to the abortion debate.
Me: “We need laws to protect the most innocent and vulnerable among us.”
Them: “You’re so fascist.”
Me: “I don’t think you know what that word means.”
Them: “Men shouldn’t tell women what to do.”
Me: “As a woman, should you tell men not to rape people?”
Them: “Yeah, but that involves hurting somebody else.”
Me: “So does abortion.”
Them: “No, a fetus isn’t a human being.”
Me: “Yeah, but…science and stuff.”
Them: “Don’t force your religion on me.”
Me: “Yeah, but…science and stuff. That’s literally, scientifically, and medically a living human being.”
Them: “But they’re not *really* a human being.”
Me: “Okay, Hitler.”
Them: “You just want to judge people.”
Me: “Is that wrong?”
Them: “Yes, it’s absolutely wrong to judge people.”
Me: “So am I wrong for that?”
Them: “Obviously, you are so wrong for that.”
Me: “You’re judging me.”
[Change of subject]
Them: “What about cases of rape and incest?”
Me: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
Them: “What if the child isn’t wanted?”
Me: “How about this…don’t kill people.”
Them: “They’re not ‘people.'”
Me: “Yeah, but…science and stuff.”
Them: “A woman has a right to self-defense.”
Me: “Self-defense against whom?”
Them: “Against the person inside of them…”
Me: “I thought the baby wasn’t a person?”
Them: “You know what I mean.”
Me: “I do. Whether you view them as a person or not is entirely arbitrary.”
Them: “You just want to be a fascist and tell women what not to do.”
Me: “I’m also willing to tell men what not to do, if that involves telling them not to kill people.”
Them: “You just want to hurt women.”
Me: “Half the people killed in abortion are females.”
Them: “Yes, but they’re not people.”
Me: “So they’re females but they’re not people? That’s super sexist of you.”
[change of subject]
Them: “If you were a woman, you would understand.”
Me: “Actually, a higher percentage of women agree with me than men do.”
Them: “What about 11 year-olds impregnated by relatives?”
Me: “That sucks. Don’t kill people.”
Them: “What about the people who raped them? Do you just want them to get away with it?”
Me: “No, I want them castrated and imprisoned and/or executed. But you realize that abortion covers up the evidence of the crime, right?”
Them: “What about impoverished black women who have to drop out of college?”
Me: “That’s sad. Don’t kill people.”
Them: “What about…”
Me: “Let me save you time. Don’t kill people.”
Them: “You’re so heartless.”
Me: “Don’t kill peo…”
Them: “Heartless, I tell you!”
Me: “I’m just saying, let’s not kill each oth…”
Them: “Fascist!”
Me: “I’m just asking us to not ki….”
[change of subject]
Them: “I’m not personally for killing anyone, but I don’t think it’s my job to tell other people what they can or can’t do.”
Me: “I’m not personally for killing abortion doctors, but I don’t think it’s my job to tell other people what they can or can’t do.”
Them: “That’s certifiably insane.”
Me: “Yup. Do you get my point?”
Them: “Nope. But I’m telling on you. You just can’t say things like that.”
Me: “What if it’s done in a sterilized clinic?”
Them: “Still wrong.”
Me: “What if it’s the best decision for me personally?”
Them: “No! You shouldn’t kill people!”
Me: “Why not?”
Them: “Because killing people is always wrong.”
Me: “What if killing the abortion doctor would save a life?”
Them: “You’re crazy. You can’t kill people because it’s what’s best for you personally.”
Me: “Would you pass a law telling me what I can or can’t do with my own body with respect to killing abortion doctors?”
Them: “Absolutely. In a heartbeat.”
Me: “What’s that about a heartbeat?”
[change of subject]
Them: “If you outlaw abortion, they’re just going to do it in dark alleys with coat hangers.”
Me: “If you outlaw killing abortion doctors, people are just going to do it in dark alleys with coat hangers.”
Them: “Well, right is right and wrong is wrong and you shouldn’t kill anybody.”
Me: “Great. Now let’s follow through that logic…”
[change of subject]
Them: “You just want the right to determine what happens with the bodies of the weakest and most vulnerable among us. Just because you’re bigger and stronger, you think you can determine what happens to our bodies.”
Me: “You just described abortion.”
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Them: “Game of Thrones is on. I have to go.”
