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Steven Furtick Claims Jesus is “Sneaky”

News Division

“I’ve heard of the strength of Jesus. I’ve heard about the sovereignty of Jesus…Nobody ever talks about how sneaky Jesus was. You’re looking at me strange…”

Charismatics have been adding to the attribtues of God. Usually, when someone speaks of the nature of God, they stick to attributes like omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, immutability, sovereignty, or impassibility. However charismatics, for whatever reason, have been adding “sneakiness” to the attributes of God. And Steven Furtick is right in the above quotation; nobody ever talks about the sneakiness of Jesus (because that’s not a thing).

Jen Johnson of Bethel Church Redding made some splashes in theological circles for alleging that the Holy Spirit was sneaky (and blue, and a ‘like a genie’). You can see her blasphemous absurditities about the sneakiness of the Third Person of the Trinity below.

Not to be outdone, Steven Furtick has found one of Jesus’ apparently long-forgotten attribute of sneakiness. Finding something that virtually every commentary and theologian in the history of the world has missed, Furtick describes for his congregation the sneakiness of Jesus. Furtick claims that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and raised in Nazareth in order to be sneaky, that Jesus snuck up to people and past people, and that Jesus died on the cross to disguise life as death in order to be sneaky.

“What makes you think Jesus isn’t sneaking up on you?” Furtick asked, to the crowd’s wild applause.

In the meantime, if you could endure that, we wanted to share this verse, which may pertain to the “sneakiness” of Jesus.

 Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him. Even so. Amen

Sneaky.